What Am I Going to Be When I Grow Up?

Barefoot in our California back yard, I would spend hours creating cures and medicines from the big streaks of oozing sap off the old pine tree. In earnest I went about my primitive research, spending hours curing obscure doll diseases and creating scientific formulas for all manner of useful household purposes (aka glue).


I would imagine that I could be anything I wanted to be. And at that age, I believed anything was possible…indeed the world was my oyster.

Now as a 40-something year old (no I won’t tell you exactly how 40 I am), as I finish the final few weeks of my Master’s degree, I am faced once again with the question, “what am I going to be when I grow up?” Don’t get me wrong, I love my life. I have a great job, a wonderful family and a beautiful house. But, as we near the cusp of an empty nest, the completion of a degree and the downsizing of a home in the next couple of years, we are looking at things a little differently.

What’s really important? What do we want to do and be together? What is smart? Reasonable? Will lead to our goals? Is that what's right for our family?

A myriad of questions and emotions flood my mind. Practically, in this time, what will we need to do to ensure we can retire before we are 100? Shouldn’t I know what I’m going to do by now? Should I be in a job that I will stay in for the rest of my life? Is it too late to consider a change? Do we want to be here forever? Do we want a smaller home? Simplification?

We simply don’t know. I had been feeling a bit ashamed to be honest, but my twin brother wisely put it, “I think it’s normal to wonder, to look forward and to ask these questions.” Then I am most certainly normal! And I don't know what I'm going to be yet...stay tuned, I'll keep you posted.