Asking Why

You watch the news and can't help but feel a heavy heart...earthquakes, devastation, accidents, assault, wars, hate, vandalism, gangs, crime...it all seems to merge into a din of negativity that makes you want to cover your ears and run.  But something I heard made me listen.  "Why did this happen?"

It seems that often in difficult times, we begin by asking "why?"  But I wonder if this question really helps? In a feeble way are we trying to grasp at a sense of control by finding out why this happened to us?  Are we really in a place where we want to know?  What if there isn't an answer?  What if it just is, because it is? What if this happened because we live too near a fault line and it has nothing to do with whether we were good enough, bad enough or in between? Is that good enough?  Do we understand why one would suffer and others should not? Is there some cosmic balance of scales?  If so, wouldn't all of us be wiped out by now? Is there really an answer to this question that would ease our heartache?  I think not.

Life is full of senseless events, happenings and heart breaking instances.  I don't know that we will ever understand "why?"  And the times I have sought a "why" have been some of the most heart wrenching times of my life - full of bitterness, sorrow and hopelessness.  I search the universe, my soul and life itself...I've demanded of God as if He was defending himself in court, seeking answers for the pain or injustices I feel I have suffered.  I have found nothing in these trials but more heart ache. Then I see the plight of some and feel shamed for my self-righteous demands that life be good and easy.

But I've learned in life that during the hard times, I need to ask, "how?"  How can I handle this situation, grow from it, change or become a better person? How can I face these challenges with dignity, grace and hope? I can I help lift the burdens of others in spite of myself?  How?  How can I make a difference?  By changing from "why?" (a focus on me) to "how?" (a focus on others).